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What to do if you regret moving home

Posted on June 13, 2022 by Peter Donaldson
What to do if you regret moving home

No matter how well-executed your moving plan, and the well-founded ideas you have had for the next phase in life, there are always snakes and ladders in the game of life.   Relocating is notorious for being unpredictable, and we don’t know how we will really feel once we are in the new home and out of the old one.   If your expectations don’t meet the reality you have entered, then you may find yourself in a state of regret about the move.  It is easy to find examples of this through friends’ networks and on the internet.  Sometimes the new place just doesn’t quite work, and this can be hugely disappointing.   Often people invest in the idea that a new home will restore their relationship or bring about a whole new wave of positivity and if these things do not come to fruition, there is not only the physical unpacking to deal with but the emotional unpacking as well. 

However, things may not really be as unsatisfactory as they seem.  Consider these five things if you are experiencing regret about your recent home move. 

Here are 5 things you should do when you regret moving.

1.Find the source of your regret. 

Why do you feel sorry you moved house? Is it because of all the renovations that are necessary but that didn’t seem evident at the time?  Or is it just a sense of being uncomfortable in the new place? 

2. Consider these aspects of why you may be feeling unsettled.

  • Is it nostalgia for what you have left behind, and the loss of friends and network, familiarity, and connection? 
  • Do you miss your old home, and the familiarity of it and all the good memories lived and shared there?  Sometimes when we move it brings us in touch with the impermanence of life, the way things change and cannot be retrieved.  You may even resent the new place if it aggravates your sense of loss for what you have left behind. 
  • Your new location, be it city or village, coastal place or suburb is strange and unsatisfying to you.  Perhaps you were used to a multicultural setting and are now in a different demographic.  Or you are daunted at the thought of having to integrate into this strange alien place.  Feelings like this can affect your overall perception when going through a major life change. 
  • Maybe your new place is colder, darker, or damper than you expected, and you are concerned that it may affect your health and mental wellbeing.   There may be a sense of disquiet in the atmosphere around your new location that you just have not adjusted to, or even the sound of a road, or the neighbours you had not realized would be so audible.  Oh yes…of course. The  Neighbours. 

If you can examine and pinpoint why you are experiencing regret, it is possible to find out if the problems are part of the process of moving and are likely to dissolve as you adjust to your new surroundings.  Figuring out creative solutions to problems can be all part of the getting settled process. 

3. Positive mental attitude 

There is nothing more disorientating than feeling uncomfortable in a new home that you are not established in yet.  You lose the stability of your old place and are not yet able to set up confidently in the new one.  Negative feelings can take hold and diminish your faith in the process.  To establish if you are ready to move forward in the new place it is worth making a list of all the benefits that could come from your new location and listing them against all the drawbacks which seem to have arisen.  This way, you are remembering the reasons why you moved there in the first place and assessing if those motivating factors still have validity.   Once you have clarified the positive elements of the new move, you can focus on developing them and eliminating the problems and negativity which are presenting themselves to you. 

4. Stay connected to your old friends and network 

If you are finding yourself dealing with all kinds of new issues related to not knowing a place, speaking the language, having friends, and so on, you must draw on your allies from further afield.  Often when we long for a place, we are longing for the people of that place, and the friendships and relationships we have enjoyed.  Such feelings can take us by surprise and really affect the way we read new situations, so it is important to know you are in transition, and your friends are there to support you, as you branch out into new territory.  Luckily it is easy to speak and even see our friends through video chat even if we are far away.  

5. Create familiarity in your new environment

By establishing a sense of the old home in the new home you should be able to preserve some of the feelings of what is familiar in order that you can feel nurtured by it in your new place.  If you can replicate aspects you loved in your new home, and accent features that are even better here, you can develop a sense of possibility in the new home that will bring about a better feeling.  If you can establish relationships with the neighbours and local community, you may feel more at home and accepted in this new place.  If there are some redeeming features of your new place you can focus on, while letting time do its work, you may find that the regret is a temporary stage in your process of transition.  Find a place that you like to eat in, a good walk to take in your new neighbourhood and establish a rhythm that will help you to adjust. 

Protecting yourself before a move 

Obviously, regret over bad financial decisions and investments is not solely a matter of mitigating emotions, as there are longer-term impacts at play.  Having a good structural assessment of any property before you buy is essential, so you are not met with a lot of unexpected renovations that you had not budgeted for.  It is always worth having a friend from the building or architectural industry look at a place with you to see if they can offer you any guidance prior to making your decision.   The glamour of interior design can cover up a lot of bad quality work that over time will trigger difficult problems, so a trained eye can be invaluable in that respect.   Maintaining a good moving budget is also a necessary part of a protection strategy, so you don’t end up with extra costs when you are setting yourself up in your new home.  In order to be certain to stay within budget, you need a reliable and experienced removals company. 

Camp Hopson – Master removers of Newbury

At Camp Hopson we can advise on a moving strategy which will work with your budget and help you to safeguard it.  A family business in the area, with a history going back to 1854 we are experienced with all things removals and storage and have a wealth of expertise we are happy to share with you.  BAR accredited, we offer the best in removals services and storage solutions.  Contact us today to discuss any kind of move, large or small, we will do our utmost to ensure that your move is a positive one !